viii.

lately, ive been working on confidence. 

confidence: a feeling of self-assurance from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

yep, this is definitely a work in progress for me. i am constantly striving towards the acknowledgement of my own abilities/qualities. 

and sometimes i think that i might be halfway successful if it weren't for the rest of humanity.

i have always reminded myself that there is no need to compare because there will always be someone who is more . . . 

more intelligent, 

more put-together, 

more alluring, 

more articulate, 

more beautiful, 

more understanding, 

more welcoming, 

more wise,

more . . . confident. 

but, the problem i have with appreciating my own abilities or qualities is the fact that i tend to base the judgements of those abilities and/or qualities in relation to the abilities and/or qualities of others. 

because it seems to me that one cannot make a judgement of something unless it is compared to another thing. 

for something to be right- another must be wrong.

for one to be intelligent- another is unintelligent.

if one is beautiful- another is ugly.

if one is wise- another is foolish.

am i able to truly find a sense of confidence only within myself?

are we ever able to appreciate or abilities or qualities without comparing?

do i need an outside perspective?

perhaps there is One greater than myself that can see all. 

One that is able to remind me that maybe it is not comparison- but rather completion that exists among all of humanity.

maybe i will eventually be able to comprehend that truth.